Pillar 4

Being Own Best Friend


Pillar 4 – Being our own best friend is all about how we relate to ourselves – how we think, talk and act towards ourselves. Are we gentle and kind, or are we harsh and critical? Are we taking care of our needs and listening to ourselves?

At the core of this pillar, there are three topics: self-compassion, self-acceptance, and self-love.

This pillar of happiness is somewhat different from other pillars. You don’t need all 12 pillars to be strong for a happy and fulfilled life – it is enough to have some of them satisfied and flourishing to provide a strong enough foundation for happiness and wellbeing even without “checking all the boxes“. However, if this pillar – being your own best friend – doesn’t work for you, building up all other pillars will not be enough to make you feel good within your life. 

So… if anything is still shaky for you in this area – please take it as one of the priorities to work on.



P.S. As it hugely relies on our thinking patterns and mindset, this Pillar is closely related to Pillar 5 – Creator’s Mindset.


Looking for more specific actions and tips on how to strengthen each of the pillars?

Join the Happiness Academy free 12 lessons email course “Strengthen your pillars of happiness”.




Are you into books? 

Here are some great readings related to this pillar:


For more great reading on positive psychology, check our The best positive psychology books list.


Are you looking for ideas to boost your self-care?

Download the (free) 30-day self-care challenge!  


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