Something strange happened in an evolution. Evolutionary, we are wired to survive. Meaning, wired to take care of our needs, but then also wanting to belong to the “tribe”, being loved and accepted by others, as that meant survival “in the old days”.
But… somehow, these days, for some of us (mothers often being an amazing example of this), the balance flipped a bit: we became really good at taking care of others and sometimes not as good at taking care of ourselves.
Is it related to many messages we receive from the media, movies, public, or sometimes even religion, that say that to be a “good person” we should sacrifice our needs for sake of others needs?
Or is it related to some deep beliefs that we are not good enough, not worthy?
Or just an attempt to avoid feeling selfish and self-centred?
I dunno where it is coming from… but I do know that I see it in many people around me, and that is coming at a really high cost on personal happiness and health.
Don’t worry – I am not saying you should ditch everyone and suddenly become a mean person – what I advocate instead is that for a happy, fulfilling life we should take care of BOTH our own needs and others needs (with limitation of what we can help them with and realising that some of it is their responsibility), with equal importance given to both.
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